That 70s Diet – An Update on Day #2

If anyone ever suggests that our mother and grandmothers weren’t super heroes, you need to punch that person in the mouth. Cooking with gelatin is really, really hard.

bowie gif

Today’s random draw from the 1970’s diet deck was a “gelatin cheese mold.” I have been reading a lot about gelatin this week, in an effort to not make last week’s mistakes resulting in wet dog smell, again. Turns out, if you leave gelatin sitting in the cold liquid it “blooms” and then you only have to lightly heat the liquid in order to dissolve it. It was seriously magical.

But, I still don’t have my liquid to gelatin ratio right, so when I turned my mold over, it didn’t give me a delightfully wiggly, fruity, cheesey, layered delight. I got something that looked like the aftermath of botched liposuction.

mold fail

Everyone in the family proclaimed that it is delicious, but I am not satisfied with my failure to mold gelatin. I’m a scientist, after all, and I cannot rest until I know the special secret to adding diet soda to fruity gelatin without having it fall apart.

The 70’s diet plan may also be proving a challenge my marriage. The other night, I was trying to see if an odd pot lid would fit a mismatched pot. Strange came up from behind and declared in his all-knowing baritone, “You know, when I have that challenge I usually just put a piece of foil over the top of the pot.” He was nearly stabbed with a wooden spoon.

Tonight when my fluted mold collapsed in a sadness pile he uttered, “Gelatin really takes longet to set than you might think.”

Well, gelatin and Strange be damned!! I’m not going to let the 70’s diet plan get me down!!!! I’ll be back with the recipe when I can figure out the mysteries of gelatin.

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A Follow-Up on Writing – Avoid Becoming an Academic Camel

I saw my post on writing a scientific paper being passed around on social media this morning. Folks in the lab and collaborating labs are doing a lot of writing these days and it’s made me think about how I might expand upon, or improve upon, the paper writing process I previously described.

Recently I’ve been talking to folks about the risk of being an academic camel. I had heard the phrase “emotional camel” used somewhere on some reality show and it made me chuckle. An emotional camel is someone who has sporadic emotional interactions, so they have to store everything up like a camel storing fuel in its hump. Then, after sucking the emotional life out of something, the emotional camel can go for long stretches of time without additional reinforcement.

 

It’s not a perfect analogy, but the academic camel stores knowledge generally related to its research area in its hump. When the time comes to need some knowledge for a grant or a presentation or a paper, it indiscriminately brings forth everything that it’s stored in it’s hump in a giant, loosely organized ta-da!

The motivation is often the wow the observer/reader/reviewer with the sheer amount that you know about a topic, afraid that if you don’t unload everything you’ll have missed something important. The output of the academic camel (which I was, once upon a time) is difficult to parse through. It leav

 

es the recipient feeling as though the camel knows a lot of stuff, but unsure as to why you need to know it too. If you’re not sure why you need to know it, is it even really important? As the camel, that’s a difficult position to put your audience in, wondering if what you’re telling them is important.

kid mess gif

So, clarity and context are really important. How do you get there in your writing? I’ve been recommending that folks use a trick we all learned in the 6th grade and I re-learned after a brief interlude as an academic camel – outlining. I have yet to meet a more junior scientist that outlines.

It seems silly, but most of my papers have a very similar style. Rather than writing in the stream of consciousness, I start by creating sentences or questions that, when arranged in order, make my points. Almost like the process of writing topic sentences for paragraphs. Say, for example, I am writing an introduction to a paper about the impact of yo-yo shape on recoil speed, I might create the following sequences of questions:

  • What factors contribute the the functionality of the yo-yo?
    • This is where I would generally introduce the factors that influence functionality including recoil speed
  • What gaps exist in our knowledge of the factors that impact recoil speed?
    • This is where I would make a case that there are factors that influence recoil speed, including shape, and take the opportunity to identify the gap in our knowledge (the impact of shape).
  • How might shape be an important contributor to recoil speed?
    • This is where I would introduce my hypothesis

Whether you choose to leave the questions in place as section headers is a stylistic choice. I often do, especially in the discussion of a paper. The person I trained with as a postdoc wrote with that style and I always liked it. Sort of like asking questions you know the answer to and then leading the reader to share it.

Either way, before starting a presentation or publication, the most important thing is to outline it out. Otherwise, it is very easy to realize you’ve talked around in circles or, worse, become the academic camel, dumping all of the information you know without purpose.

That 70s Diet Day #1 – Jellied Tomato Refresher

Sunday morning, Strange and I were sitting on the couch goofing off. I was catching up with Twitter and scrolling through the feed of one of my favorite accounts – 70’s Dinner Party (@70s_Party). When I was a little girl, my mother had a 1970’s Betty Crocker cookbook that has since been lost to the ages. I would lay on the living room floor and leaf through it for hours. This account just makes me nostalgic.

chilled celery logSwiping past all of the 70’s-era delights on my iPhone, I made a comment to Strange that they all seemed pretty low carb. I showed him the picture of  chilled celery log. Could it be that the 70’s were such a magical time because they were all in a blissful state of ketosis? Strange glanced, grimaced and shuddered. That felt like a challenge and I told him that I thought I could recreate all of the magical recipes from the deck that the chilled celery log came from and that he wouldn’t even hate them.

Turns out, they’re fairly easily accessible online (here and here). Problem is, the actual recipes aren’t available, thereby adding a new and more interesting dimension to the challenge. Could I re-create the recipe in spirit, while also making them palatable and also keep them in line with our low carb lifestyle? A challenge was really coming together…

Strange and I agreed to a couple of ground rules..

  • I would pick the recipes at random
  • They had to be prepared low carb
  • We don’t have to make a recipe when we have the kids. They should have to suffer too
  • I don’t need to use green peppers even if I know they’re in the recipe. Green peppers make me gag. Fuck green peppers. Green peppers are my hard limit.

And so, the challenge began..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first recipe selected by the random number generator was “Jellied jelliedtomato2Tomato Refresher.” I have to admit, I was not emotionally ready to have that be the first one. I was hoping for an easy one containing hot dogs or slaw. I was not ready to have to begin with gelatin work.

I stared at that picture for a long time, wonder what I do to make that somehow palatable. It looks a little like road kill sans the skin and fur. What could be added to tomato to make it refreshing? There’s only one answer.

Vodka. A lot of vodka. I went to the market.

Browsing the aisles of our brand new Trader Joes, I thought that perhaps this recipe could be survivable if I went with Bloody Mary as an inspiration. I assembled my ingredients, pictured mostly below until the whole enterprise came off the rails.

Shown to the lefingredient list.jpgt are the general ingredients.

  • One can of plum tomatoes (see addendum)
  • A cup or so of vodka
  • A box of Knox’s gelatin
  • Worcestershire sauce to tast
  • Salt to taste
  • Celery seed to taste
  • Tapatio hot sauce
  • Shrimp and other garnishes

I started by pureeing up the tomatoes to make a thick liquid, as opposed to whole tomatoes. This yielded just a bit shy of three cups. To that, I added on cup of vodka. I microwaved about a half cup of water to dissolve the gelatin and tore open one of the envelopes.

That’s when it occurred to me that I probably should figure out how much gelatin I’d need. I had ripped off the first line of the instructions, but could still read part of the word “gelatin” followed by 1 cup hot water and 2 cups fruit juice. I figured I was in business. I added a packet of gelatin, mixed it all together and popped it in the fridge.IMG_3015

That’s when everything went awry.

I spent the next few hours helping Little I clean his toxic dump of a bedroom. I came upstairs to check on my hellish creation and it was the consistency of thick tomato sauce with an awkwardly gummy bottom. I checked the remaining envelope of gelatin and realized that the recipe did not call for one envelope of gelatin to four cups liquid. It called for three envelopes. At about the moment, my eyes started to itch, and my throat started feeling tight. Whatever I had gotten into in Little I’s room had made my mast cells very, very angry. I called to Strange, “I need 50 mg of Benadryl right now before I die and another box of gelatin.”

When I woke up several hours later, chaos had ensued. Some attempts had been made to rescue my creation that resulted in a weird, uneven concoction with some portions having the consistency of rotting flesh. I dumped it down the drain and vowed to start anew anon.

Today I woke up, went to the pantry and pulled out a can of diced tomatoes. You can’t go wrong with died tomatoes. They’re a classic. I emptied them into a measuring cup. The can yielded about 2 cups of tomato stuff. I added another cup of Uncle Tito’s finest moonshine.

I was not going to go wrong with the gelatin this time, so I put a cup of water on the stove, heated and slowly added three packets of gelatin. It turns out, there is a science to dissolving gelatin that I did not know at the time, but will file away for future recipes. I boiled the gelatin.. I boiled the shit out of it and I would not recommend this because boiling gelatin smells like the most wretched of wet dogs. I put my mixture in the fridge, read about how you shouldn’t boil gelatin, and then sat around and stressed that my mixture wouldn’t set because I had boiled it.IMG_3018

Well, the punch line is that we’re here because my new tomato beast set!!! Science be damned and gelatin be boiled!!

The last step was presentation and luckily TD was around to help. We cut the gelatin into small cubes and dished them into a martini glass for effect. We added a couple of big Argentinean shrimp (whatever those are), some olives and homemade pickles.  The whole mold probably serves seven or eight. Total carbs for the endeavor is about 2.

So, allow us to present Jellied Tomato Refresher, presented in their 70’s filter glory..

Turns out, jellied tomatoes and vodka with Bloody Mary spices is pretty delicious. We added a little extra salt and Worcestershire sauce, but olives, pickles and shrimp can make just about anything delicious. Strange took his first bite and proclaimed, “Man, now I just wish I had a Parliament.” The only place went off the path to success is in not stopping at one. One is, indeed, refreshing. We had a pretty happy buzz and were gleefully chomping shrimp like Mary Richards and whatever dude she was dating at the time. The second had us feeling a little ill and hyper aware of the fact that we were eating gelatinous tomatoes. My advice is to stop at one.

Until next time, 70’s party on dudes!

 

 

 

Saturday Morning Thoughts on Liberty

This morning I’m reading a biography about Sandra Day O’Connor and Ruth Bader Ginsburg that I picked up from the local library titled Sisters in Law. It’s a particular accesible read, but there have been a few passages in particular that have struck me, especially given the current climate.

For example, the author writes about Bader Ginsburg’s former professor at Cornell, Robert Cushman…

Life would be “better,” to Ruth’s mentor, if people stopped using the language of patriotism to defend their privileges and the less powerful were free to speak against them.

Indeed, Professor Cushman. Indeed.

Take a Knee on Tuesday #ScientistsTakeAKnee

O say can you see, by the dawn’s early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming,
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O’er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there;
O say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

I love this country with every bit of my being. I don’t overlook its complicated and painful past, but I believe so strongly in the ideals that our founding fathers chose to immortalize in writing…

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.

My patriotism runs from a place that believes that we can be better. That we must challenge ourselves to be better.. That we must not accept a society that isn’t moving toward those truths that are self-evident. All men are created equal with the unalienable rights of  life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

policehomiciderates

Source here.

The reality is that groups of people in our society are being deprived of their rights. Our current administration cautions against violence toward white supremacists, Nazis and Klan members, noting that there are some “very fine people” at their rallies. Meanwhile, police killed at least 104 unarmed black people in 2015. Unarmed black Americans are five times more likely to be killed by the police. In St. Louis, the rate at which the police kill black men is higher than the U.S. murder rate.  We have to recognize that this is a problem and be better as a nation. The systematic killing of black Americans has to stop.

Athletes have been exercising their First Amendment right to protest this and, in contrast to the “very fine people” that attend white supremacist rallies, our president called these athletes “sons of bitches.” He later tweeted…

More so than with most of his toxic commentary, all of this struck me. It struck me with its profound wrongness. The patriots that died for this country didn’t die for a flag. They died for independence from tyranny and to preserve freedom and liberty. They died because there is nothing more important than to protect others from oppression. And, our founding fathers knew that these ideals were so important that they protected our right to tell our government when it’s fucking up squarely in the very first amendment to the constitution. The right to protest mistreatment by our government is woven in to the fabric of our values. These athletes aren’t protesting the flag, or disrespecting the military or our country. They’re protesting the violation of our social contract and addressing their grievances in the manner our founding fathers outlined for them. It is unconstitutional for our president to abridge their freedom of speech.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

I love this country and, despite the events of the last year, I still believe it is one of the only countries on Earth with the potential for people to live up to their potential and achieve their dreams, but only if we insist that this country keep its promise.  I feel called as a citizen to live honorably and a duty to serve my neighbor. I support these athletes’ (and others’)  right to protest and I stand with these Americans. I stand against institutionalized discrimination and racism.

Finally, as a scientist, I also value my right to speak the truth freely and to protest things that I know to be contrary to fact and truth. Any attempt to stop peaceful statements of the truth is a challenge to values that are so very dear to me (and hopefully to you too).

So, on Tuesday I invite you to stand, or take a knee, with me in solidarity with the citizens of our country that are bravely exercising their right to challenge their government. I’ve been using the hashtag #ScientistsTakeAKnee on Twitter (h/t @sciencing_bi) to organize the conversation. Whether you’re alone, or with a group, I encourage you to stop for a while on Tuesday and to take a knee. You can take a picture and post it to Twitter or other social media.

Let’s show the world that scientists stand in solidarity with our fellow citizens against discrimination and in support of our right to protest mistreatment of American citizens by our government.

 

What is the Place of the Professor?

Over the weekend, the following tweet circulated around the science twitter-web:

I think that some of us can empathize with the tweet, having been on the receiving end of emails that start with “HeY! Whats up dude?!?!?!” or having tried to deal with the academic fallout from a wild weekend that led to missing an important midterm. As a professor, I love the topic I teach. I think it’s important and applicable to my students’ future careers and I want to see students develop a passion for it too. I want to see them impress me with how much they’re learning. But, most of the objection to the tweet seemed to come not from the notion that students should try to impress faculty, but from the analogy that a professor is a boss.  Folks seemed to object to the business-i-fication of academia…

There’s no doubt in my mind that the shift toward modeling academia after industry is hurting it. There was an article in Slate over the weekend about how changes in contracts and collective bargaining at the University of Wisconsin (an institution nearGif or Jig.gif and dear to my heart) have hurt the faculty and cost the university millions.  Higher learning has to be financially sustainable, but shifting universities to a for-profit model is not necessarily in the best interest of the public they serve.

Several folks responded to the tweet by saying that we’re not business people, we’re teachers. That’s true, and yet it doesn’t seem like enough. I’ve struggled over the last few years with how to own this, but to describe professors as simply teachers doesn’t seem to encompass all that we do. We’re also caretakers of people on the cusp of a critical transition point.  As a mother, I think a lot about this.

This is the first time most of our students have lived away from home. They not only come to our universities for course work, but most of these students are also learning to deal with life for the first time.  They’re away from their parents and support systems. Many are having to work to support themselves for the first time. I hear my colleagues sometimes remark at the inability of students to thrive in these environments, but I can’t seem to forget that we’re asking two very difficult things of them – we’re asking them to learn in a more rigorous environment and to do it while also truly learning to “adult.”

My office is in a hallway and the university has recently put rows of benches along the walls. There is one right outside my office door. Students come and sit. Sometimes they talk on their phones to their parents. Sometimes they cry. Sometimes they don’t feel well. Sometimes they need a tissue or a Band-Aid and the things that you can do for them are more than giving them some bit of knowledge. Of course they’re adults, but they’re also people’s children that are away from home for the first time.

I’ve been thinking about these issues lately because it seems as though my university has a lot of resources for students who are dealing with emotional, psychological, physical, and other issues/crises. That said, I’m not sure that students always know that these resources are available to them and I often find myself trying to counsel students toward them and also wishing they had come to me sooner. I think in many cases, students see faculty as simply teachers, or even sometimes as “bosses” and that really hinders our ability to help them when they get into trouble.

halloween costumeSome folks commented that they didn’t care if students came to class in onesies or Halloween costumes, as long as they were learning the material. I appreciate the sentiment, but I don’t know that this is fair to them either. I like to see myself as a mentor of facilitator that prepares them for their next step. We can teach them the academic knowledge they need, while also teaching them the professional norms and expectations that others will have for them when they leave the university to engage with the world. we can also help them navigate a complicated university system to get help when they need it.  This makes us more than simply teachers of information and more like guides.

And definitely not bosses.

Disclaimer: I want to be very clear that any details provided in this post and any others are not meant to describe my experiences with or identify any particular student. There are thousands of them here and my intent is only to broadly describe my own experiences. 

A Thursday Afternoon Palate Cleanser

 

World events of the past couple of weeks demand a little frivolity, but it’s hard to justify turning off the world when it’s not quite Shabbat. So, here’s some of the stuff I’m amusing myself with when the going gets tough…

The Hydraulic Press Channel
This guy gives me all of my life. He just crushes things and, sometimes they explode. And, he gets so damned excited when things explode. This explosion, in particular, is a peach.

Good Mythical Morning
Last night we watched their video “Will It Chair?” Turns out, some things make better chairs than you might think. I would like a marshmallow chair for my office.

ArtyTV
We’re going to start making reaction videos of the reaction videos.

 

And, of course, shoes….
How happy am I that block heels are coming back? And how hilarious do I think it is that Sarah Jessica Parker is selling $400 shoes? Not that I don’t think they’re cute, but probably not “rob the college fund” cute.

4128498-p-MULTIVIEW.jpg

 

And an Update from Nature…

Not an hour after I posted my thoughts on Nature’s editorial, they changed the title and added this disclaimer:

The original version of this article was offensive and poorly worded. It did not accurately convey our intended message and it suggested that Nature is defending statues of scientists who have done grave injustice to minorities and other people. We have corrected the headline, standfirst and a line in the text to make clear we do not support keeping those memorials; our position is that any such memorials that are allowed to stand should be accompanied by context that makes the injustice clear and acknowledges the victims.

IT’S STILL OFFENSIVE!!!

Just sit down, Nature. Just sit down.

Dont exist.gif

Nature Asks Charlottesville to Hold Its Beer and Other Reasons Why You’re Afraid of the Mirror

jeff sessions

Subtext from this photo of just a poorly timed snap? (Slate)

These past 30 days have been a real trial of American patriotism and a real litmus test for doing what’s right. Yesterday’s DACA announcement by Jeff Sessions caused my university and our local school system to make statements that they value students, and that they will not penalize their students for their immigration status. I could see that some of these entities were clearly making some moves today to figure out how to deal with the possible end of DACA. Protecting children shouldn’t be a debate. It should be the core value of a society. Children don’t have the capacity to dictate their own futures and we shouldn’t punish them for the actions of their parents.

 

All of this on the heels of the violence in Charlottesville where white supremacists protested the removal of confederate statues. Advocates for the preservation of history ignore the fraught history of these monuments. The majority were erected as intimidation tactics around the Jim Crow and school integration eras. They’re not monuments to history. They are a sign to brown people, placed in front of courthouses and education buildings (which are sources of power to members of a society),  to remember their place in society. It’s not history. It’s terrorism.

So many of us looked to our president to clearly and loudly denounce the white supremacists, Nazis, and Klan members who stood in defense of these symbols and, when he didn’t, it wounded our country.  It reinforced the divides that keep underrepresented citizens at a disadvantage. Denouncing Nazis doesn’t seem like it should be hard, but our president said there were some “good people” among the crowd. Good people among a crowd of white supremacists! If there’s anyone you should be able to unequivocally call evil, it’s the Nazis. That should be easy.

Just when I thought we were at our peek ridiculousness with what should be a simple rejection of hate politics, the science publication Nature said, “Hey Trump

hold my beer

In their September editorial “Removing statues of historical figures risks whitewashing history”, the editorial staff writes in defense of the statue of J. Marion Sims:

The word ‘racist’ was spray-painted alongside his list of achievements, which include life-saving techniques he developed to help women recover from traumatic births. Yet many protest about the lionization of this ‘father of modern gynaecology’ because he performed his experiments on female slaves.

And as to how to deal with these problematic statues…

Instead of removing painful reminders, perhaps these should be supplemented. Such notes are also standard in biomedical literature. The American Medical Association recommends that if unethically acquired data are essential to science, any use or citation of these data should describe the unethical behaviour and pay respect to the victims of the experimentation.

Institutions and cities could do something similar by installing a plaque noting the controversy, or an equally sized monument commemorating the victims. Such a historical marker stands for Carrie Buck, a young woman who was the first person to be sterilized under a 1924 eugenics programme in the United States, which was designed to eliminate ‘genetically inferior’ people with mental and physical disabilities. It stands in Charlottesville just a few blocks — but a million miles away — from the disputed statue of General Lee.

For the record, I had to engage in some serious Google-Fu to find the memorial to Carrie Buck. It’s not a statue. It’s a roadside marker that you could drive by and never notice. This is what they equivocate to the grandiose statues of Robert Lee:

Carrie Buck

Problem is, like DACA and Nazis, this shouldn’t be hard. The two scientists the Nature editors hold as their examples of the possible whitewashing of history are J. Marion Sims and Thomas Parran, the Unites States surgeon general who oversaw the Tuskegee Experiment and the infection of Guatemalans with syphilis without their consent. These men advanced science by treating others as non-human. We don’t celebrate Josef Mengele for finding out how long it took people to freeze or describing the physiological effects of hypoxia. That would be absurd! So, why are we concerned with condemning the actions of scientists who experimented on other peoples considered non-human?

Statues and namings are not ways to remember our history. They are ways to remember our heroes, and people who hurt other groups of people are not heroes. We can remember their contributions in museums and history books. Refusing to commemorate their hurt in stone does not erase history.  It communicates that we understand the pain they inflicted.

So, why are people so concerned with the whitewashing of history? Because at their cores, many of us are afraid of falling on the wrong side of history. We worry that, like Parron and Sims, our ambition will drive us to make discoveries at the expense of robbing others of their humanity. We’re worried that in a hundred years, our statue will be the one with “racist” scrawled across it.

Maybe the greatest protection of that is a willingness to listen to why others were hurt by a historical figure. A commitment to not force others to accept the celebration of a problematic figure for his “scientific genius”. How many of us were given pause when we learned the origin of the HeLa cell? Data lives independently from its generator.

I’m not worried about my legacy because, before my own career and my own accomplishments, I am most driven by the belief that every person has an inherent human dignity, making us each deserving of respect and honor. I’m not worried about my statue. I’m worried about getting to that place.

 

 

 

 

But, I Miss You Isis!

I was so touched to see my post on my paper writing process receive such a warm reception. It has really benefited me to write in this way and I am so glad when I see others benefit from it. As I mentioned in the post, it was a re-post from my old blog. On Twitter, someone dug up the original post from a web archive. Had I kept the old blog? Nope. They remarked that they had found it funny and missed me. I said I wasn’t dead yet, and they said that I had taught them to be a bad ass woman in science. I really was touched.

Tonight I tweeted that I was glad that people had benefited from the post and a dear friend of the blog said that they had missed my writing.

I’m not dead!!!

Wonder woman walls.gifWhen I wrote as the pseudonymous Isis, I was unstoppable. I put on my costume, wiggled a little, and defeated my enemies. My shoes were cool and I had cardigans. My keyboard was my sword and, in so many ways, I felt invincible.  I started my blog ten years ago as a new, sassy postdoc who was ready to take over the world. I had everything figured out and I was going to take no grief from nobody.

None of that prepared me to get divorced, though. None of that prepared me to have to face how lonely I was and none of that prepared me to have my heart completely broken. I wasn’t ready to have to deal with the reality of a single income and being a single mom, all while building a new lab.  I felt like such a sham. Like I had fooled you all. Like I had shown you something that wasn’t real and, at the first sign of a real challenge, had gone completely fetal. I ate a lot of cereal, got chubby, and just tried to survive and love my children.  I wasn’t perfect and fearless. I was so, so afraid.

But, I did survive. I look back at the last couple of years and my kids are beautiful, funny little people. Little I and TD are really amazing. Science is exciting, and I’m not so chubby any more. I rode my bike more than 400 miles. I went through a spell where I felt beaten down, but I’m still here. Maybe I am invincible, after all. It has taken a while to realize that, but stop mourning me. Isis is more real than she ever was.

So, here are some shoes.

Katy Perry

Katy Perry’s The Bonnie. $179 at Zappos. I’m not buying these shoes, but I might glue some random buttons on an existing pair. Where’s Hathor when you need her?